Birthday
Hydrangeas"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" is a popular idea behind dozens of books, jokes and tips. But which common claims about differences between men and women does science support, and which turn out to be myths? We look at the most widespread "facts" — from how many words we say a day to multitasking and empathy — and ask whether it's true that only women love flowers.
"Mars and Venus": how different are we really?
In 2005 psychologist Janet Hyde reviewed dozens of meta-analyses of sex differences in thinking, communication, personality and self-esteem. Her conclusion became known as the "gender similarities hypothesis": most psychological differences between men and women are small or close to zero. People within each sex differ from each other far more than the "average man" differs from the "average woman".
That doesn't mean there are no differences at all — just that many popular claims are greatly exaggerated.
Popular myths
Myth: women talk three times as much as men
The figure "20,000 words a day for women versus 7,000 for men" has been repeated for years, but it has no source. In a study published in Science in 2007, participants wore recorders that sampled their speech through the day. Result: women and men each spoke around 16,000 words a day on average, and the difference wasn't statistically significant. Individual variation was huge, though — the chattiest participants were men.
Myth: only women can multitask
Research on multitasking is mixed: some experiments find a small advantage for women, others for men, and others no difference. What is well established is that everyone's performance drops when switching between tasks.
Myth: men don't care about hugs and touch
The need for closeness and support is universal. Men may talk about it less because of upbringing and stereotypes, but that doesn't mean touch and care matter less to them.
What really differs
- Colour vision. Inherited red–green colour blindness is linked to the X chromosome, so it affects about 8% of men but only 0.5% of women of European descent. If you're choosing flowers for a man, remember he may find reds and greens harder to tell apart.
- Sense of smell. Several studies find women slightly better on average at detecting and identifying odours, though the difference is small and varies a lot between individuals.
- Life expectancy. In almost every country women live longer than men on average, due to both biology and lifestyle.
- Physical traits. On average men are taller and have more muscle mass — the most noticeable differences between the sexes.
- Empathy. In surveys women more often describe themselves as empathetic, but in experiments that measure empathy through behaviour and reactions the gap is much smaller. Much of it comes down to upbringing and social expectations.
Do only women love flowers?
Another stereotype is that flowers only please women. In fact, many men admit they enjoy receiving flowers — they just get them far less often. For a man, choose a sleek bouquet in muted tones, a potted plant or a boxed arrangement. And to find out why men sometimes stop giving flowers themselves and what to do about it, read why men don't buy flowers.
Differences in taste usually come down not to sex but to personality, upbringing and experience. So it's best to choose a gift for the specific person — see our tips on choosing flowers by personality and our guide to the language of flowers.
The bottom line
Men and women differ less than we tend to think, and many "scientific facts" online are just stereotypes retold. It's far more useful to take an interest in the actual person and what makes them happy — a rule that works perfectly when you're choosing a bouquet as a gift.
FAQ
Do women really talk more than men?
No. In a 2007 study men and women each spoke about 16,000 words a day on average, and the difference wasn't significant.
Why is colour blindness more common in men?
The genes for red–green colour vision are on the X chromosome, and men have only one.
Is it OK to give a man flowers?
Of course. Choose a sleek bouquet in muted tones or a potted plant.
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Author: Maria Svitlovir
Graduated from Taras Shevchenko National University of Kyiv, Institute of Biology and Medicine (2001). BSc in Biology, MSc in Horticulture. Writes about plants, works at a garden centre selecting and repotting plants, and contributes to plant reference guides.
