Funeral Flowers: How Many, Which Colours and Etiquette

Flowers at a funeral are a final sign of respect for the person and support for their family. Nobody wants to get it wrong at such a time, so it helps to know a few simple rules: how many flowers to bring, which colours are appropriate, how a wreath differs from a bouquet and what to say to the family. Below is calm, practical advice without superstition or unnecessary detail.

View full-size photo

How Many Flowers to Bring

In Ukrainian and wider Slavic tradition, an even number of flowers is brought to a funeral: 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 or more. Odd numbers are associated with celebrations and the living. For large bouquets (more than 12 stems), baskets and wreaths the number no longer matters — what counts is a restrained look. From one person, 2–6 flowers are appropriate; from a family or team, a larger bouquet, basket or wreath.

Which Colours Are Appropriate

• Dark red and burgundy — remembrance, deep grief and respect; often chosen for men and soldiers.
• White — bright memory and purity; fitting for women and young people.
• Purple and lilac — sorrow and eternity.
• White with red — the classic funeral combination.

Avoid bright yellow, orange and mixed bouquets unless the family asks otherwise (for example, if these were the person’s favourite flowers).

Which Flowers Are Brought to Funerals

• Carnations — the most traditional choice, especially red.
• Roses — dark red, burgundy or white, without elaborate wrapping.
• Chrysanthemums — white, lilac or burgundy; long-lasting.
• Calla lilies and lilies — symbols of peace and fond memory.
• Gladioli — for large arrangements and baskets.

View full-size photo

Flowers for a Man, a Woman or a Young Person

• For a man — dark red roses or carnations, burgundy chrysanthemums.
• For a woman — white or soft-toned roses, chrysanthemums, lilies, callas.
• For a young person or child — light flowers in white, soft pink or blue, without dark tones.
• For an older person — classic carnations, roses or chrysanthemums.

Flowers for a Soldier’s Funeral

For fallen defenders, red roses or carnations are usually chosen, sometimes with yellow-and-blue ribbons or flowers in the colours of the flag. Wreaths and large baskets are fitting from a unit or community. Words of support for the family are in condolences on the death of a soldier.

Funeral Wreaths: Fresh or Artificial

A wreath is a traditional sign of remembrance from family, friends, colleagues or the community. Fresh wreaths look natural but last only a few days; artificial ones last longer, though some communities and churches ask for fresh flowers only. A mourning ribbon is attached with an inscription such as «We remember. We grieve» and a signature — «From your colleagues», «From the family». Wreaths are usually ordered in advance and delivered to the place of farewell.

View full-size photo

Etiquette: How and When to Give the Flowers

• Flowers are placed by the coffin or photo during the farewell, or on the grave after burial.
• If the service is in a church, check the rules in advance.
• There is no need to hand the bouquet to relatives — simply lay it down and quietly offer your condolences.
• Keep wrapping minimal: no cellophane, glitter or bright ribbons.
• If the family asks for no flowers and, for example, a charity donation instead, respect that wish.

What to Say to the Family

A few sincere words are enough: «I am so sorry for your loss», «He was a wonderful person», «I am here if you need help». More examples in short condolence messages and how to express condolences.

Flowers for the Ninth and Fortieth Days and Anniversaries

On memorial days and grave visits, flowers are also brought in even numbers. Over time, families often plant low-maintenance perennials on the grave — ideas in what to plant on a grave. Fresh flowers are usually left on the grave after the farewell, and wilted ones are removed on the next visit.

FAQ

How many flowers should I bring to a funeral?

An even number: 2, 4, 6 or more. For large bouquets, baskets and wreaths the number does not matter.

Which flowers are brought to funerals?

Carnations, roses, chrysanthemums, callas and lilies in dark red, burgundy, white or lilac.

What should I write on a wreath ribbon?

Something short: «We remember. We grieve» or «Eternal memory», plus who it is from.

Can I bring a potted plant to a funeral?

Usually not — cut flowers are brought, and perennials are planted on the grave later.

Author: Maria Svitlovir

Graduated from Taras Shevchenko National University of Kyiv, Institute of Biology and Medicine (2001). BSc in Biology, MSc in Horticulture. Writes about plants, works at a garden centre selecting and repotting plants, and contributes to plant reference guides.

About the author →