"Flirting with Flowers": History and Rules of the Game

Long before messaging apps and dating sites, lovers had their own secret code — the language of flowers. In the 19th century it inspired a parlour game called "Flirting with Flowers" (Flirt tsvetov), which helped young people express their feelings without breaking the strict rules of propriety. Here is how the game came about, how it was played and how to host your own version today.

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The language of flowers and the birth of the game

The fashion for the "language of flowers" reached Europe from the East: in the early 18th century Lady Mary Wortley Montagu described secret messages made of flowers and objects in her letters from Istanbul. In 19th-century France and England, whole flower dictionaries assigned a meaning to every bloom and colour, and the fashion spread across Europe, including to Ukrainian lands.

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries a card game called "Flirting with Flowers" became popular. Printers sold it in pretty boxes, and it was a common entertainment at parties, in drawing rooms and at summer houses.

How the game was played

A set contained several dozen cards. Each showed or named a flower along with the phrase it "meant": a confession, a compliment, an invitation to walk, a playful reproach or a refusal. A separate card, something like "You and I", indicated who was being addressed.

• Players received cards and took turns "talking" to each other using only flower names.
• The partner looked up the flower on their list and understood the hidden message.
• Onlookers heard an innocent conversation about roses and lilies, while the two players might be confessing their feelings or arranging to meet.

The game helped people overcome shyness and flirt a little in a society where frank conversation was considered improper.

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How to play "Flirting with Flowers" today

• Make your own cards. Print 20–30 cards with flowers and fun phrases, from compliments to playful "refusals".
• For a party or hen night. Hand out the cards and invite guests to hold a "floral" conversation — a great icebreaker.
• For a wedding. Place the cards on guests' tables or use them in a game for the newlyweds.
• For a couple. Create your own "flower dictionary" and leave each other notes with flower names — or give real flowers with a secret meaning.

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What flowers "say"

Flower meanings vary from one dictionary to another, so in the game it matters more to agree on your own code. Read more about traditional meanings in our article on the language of flowers, and about giving flowers properly in our piece on flower etiquette.

FAQ

When was "Flirting with Flowers" popular?

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, when the language of flowers was in vogue.

Can you play it now?

Yes — just make cards with flowers and phrases. It works for a party, a wedding or a romantic evening.

And a real "floral" conversation can start with a bouquet — order roses with UFL delivery in Kyiv.

Author: Maria Svitlovir

Graduated from Taras Shevchenko National University of Kyiv, Institute of Biology and Medicine (2001). BSc in Biology, MSc in Horticulture. Writes about plants, works at a garden centre selecting and repotting plants, and contributes to plant reference guides.

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